That crazy evening that seems to span a week around the end of October.
That widely misinterpreted spectrum of harmless mischief and overt threatening violence.
That waking moment when you discover that your brother actually hates you.
A few months ago, my brother took his annual holiday to Cornwall, as I'm sure I mentioned in an earlier post. Whilst there, he procured some new clothing for himself, as is tradition, but in addition he also purchased a T-shirt to donate to my THREEHUNDREDANDSIXTEEFIVE T-shirt challenge.
On the face of things, that sounds like a particularly kind gesture. But wait, there's more.
The T-shirt he ended up buying for me was the result of several dedicated hours aiming to find the worst T-shirt he possibly could. One with a design so grotesque, so void of taste, that he savoured the moment of handing it to me, rubbing his hands gleefully and bearing a grin fit for Halloween. This was certainly a case of trick, not treat.
As I lifted the T-shirt out of the bag and unfurled it for inspection, I was greeted by the most disgracefully absurd design to have ever appeared in the challenge. Twice no less, as the back of the T-shirt features an exact identical print to the front!
It's a never-ending, full-body (shoulders, armpits, you name it) illustration of a tomahawk wielding native Indian skeleton with eyebrow piercings, who appears to be emerging from some sort of disgruntled cosmic vortex. Everything about the image is terrifying and angry and I genuinely suspect that looking directly into the skull's hollow eye sockets will cause you to surrender your soul.
Put simply, it is awful incarnate.
At least I don't have to worry about people seeing me wearing it at night---OH GOOD GOD IT GLOWS IN THE DARK!
Why would anybody do this to someone? Who could possibly deserve this? Not that I'm ungrateful for the donation you understand, I'm very grateful. My stock levels are too low now to turn away tees on merit of their artwork, but this is severely close to being a crime of some kind. Mass offence, perhaps?
I hope you can appreciate why I've opted to wear this tee for Halloween - the cowering children I've passed have certainly ratified that decision.
I'm actually attending a Halloween function this coming Saturday and obviously my costume will have to feature a T-shirt. Day 304's monstrosity could well have served that purpose but I've got something else in store.
Check back on Saturday for the full Halloween post. And if you see me around today, please don't punch me.
Happy Halloween!
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