It's Thursday.
Day 136 of my THREEHUNDREDANDSIXTEEFIVE challenge.
I've just looked myself long and hard in the bedroom mirror following a 30 minute stint of holding my head in my hands. The Mystery Package looks on from the corner I cast it into last week, disgusted with the shame it's brought me these past 20 days.
It all seemed like such a good idea in the beginning; that blue polythene held such promise, such wonder, and yet my expectations have been shattered every time I've extracted one of its wretched innards.
It's a day earlier than usual for the Mystery Package to rear its ugly head, but I'm working under the theory that if I catch it off guard, it might not serve up utter garbage.
My phone receives a text message.
It's Matt.
He wishes me luck for my exploration into the Mystery Package today and calls me a name that has no business being repeated in this post.
I cast the phone into its own shameful disgusting corner and reach into the bag.
Please be a Crystal Method T-shirt.
Please be a Crystal Method T-shirt.
Please be a Crystal Method T-shirt.
Well this is not a Crystal Method T-shirt. But it's actually not a heap of horse manure either!
Wow!
It's finally happened! It's scored! The Mystery Package has regurgitated a T-shirt of acceptable quality and substance - a Gaslight Anthem officially licensed merchandise product featuring a giant illustration of a gramophone. The period-style illustration is complemented by a backdrop of bronze coloured sun rays, and both the image and text are decorated by an array of stars, making for an aesthetically pleasing design.
Sure, the band isn't exactly in my top five - I wouldn't voluntarily place my genitals in a vice should doing so award me with tickets to a gig of theirs, but at the same time, their music isn't so bad that hearing it makes me want to place my genitals in a vice. That, plus the cool design, very much places them in the "alright" partition of my musical spectrum and that's enough to quantify this offering from the Mystery Package a success.
There's only one thing left to do. Text Matt back, thanking him for the previously expressed luck, and call him an equally offensive name unfit for this post.
*For a proper introduction to the Mystery Package, have a re-read of the post just after Day 102.
