This morning I awoke with a jolt.
There was commotion somewhere in the flat. I heard the front door be forced open and nicknacks fall from the windowsills. I heard footsteps traverse the kitchen. I heard the soft scuffle of fingers rummaging through cupboards and drawers.
It seems I had intruders, multiple intruders, and I was terrified.
Despite my fright and bleary state of mind, I managed to muster the courage to do what any man would do in such situations; I woke my wife.
This was a foolish decision.
Owing to it being several hours ahead of her scheduled wake up call, my wife instantly sided with the trespassers by scolding me at a hostile decibel level, thus betraying our location to the men outside. Their rummaging paused briefly at the sound. My eyes widened in disbelief as my wife rolled over and burrowed under the duvet in pursuit of the dream she was having, oblivious to the unfolding terror.
The footsteps, now privy to our whereabouts, quickened and grew louder along the hallway. I knew they would be faced with two doors at the other end; one the bathroom, the other our bedroom.
I sat up against the headboard, dumbfounded. I had seconds to devise a plan.
The way I saw it I had three options.
I could try really hard to look like a toilet and ultimately confuse them to the point of leaving.
I could suddenly get really good at every martial art the world has ever known and dispatch the assailants in quick succession (as quietly as possible so as to not disturb my wife).
Or I could do what I actually ended up doing - pull the duvet up over my face.
A man pulled the duvet off from over my face.
He had been sent by Ann Arbor T-shirt Company...
Back in 2008, a T-shirt print firm named Ann Arbor T-shirt Company was formed in a University of Michigan dorm room by founders Jerry and Ricky, so Chantal, my contact there tells me. Since then the company has expanded massively with a range of thousands of tees available from both their own and their Amazon stores.
Chantal also apologised for sending an elite squad of heavies to my home this morning. It transpires they were sent to take back one of their T-shirt donations that was scheduled to be worn this very day, hence their urgency. I've not had a product recall during my THREEHUNDREDANDSIXTEEFIVE challenge before, making this another landmark day in its timeline.
The reason for the retraction is that the tee was part of a Top Secret collection posted to me in error, and had I have worn and blogged about it, the agenda of the squad would have been drastically different. As it turns out, they simply swapped the tee for this Ann Arbor branded one (full illustration on the back), and left without a fuss.
Though I'm certain the V-neck serves as a warning...
See more from Ann Arbor T-shirt Company via their Twitter account
