Day 349

Something terrible has happened!

I just bought a house.
Well, OK, not that.
But I’ve just moved into a new house.
OK not that either.
I’ve just had the broadband account from my rented accommodation transferred into my newly purchased house.
Yes, that.

On paper that sounds like a tremendously wonderful arrangement – having all the luxury and convenience of the Internet connection I previously enjoyed carried with me when I moved on to a new dwelling. In fact, that’s pretty much what I’d regard as a ‘standard procedure’.
The problem with ‘on paper’ and my preconceived ideas about what’s ‘standard’ is that it’s all complete rubbish.
Off paper, and very much in the cold light of day, I woke up this morning and put on my most well-ventilated trousers (torn to shreds) and tallest hat (suitable for low-overhead-danger detection) ready for a day of shunting boxes around. As I prepared a hearty breakfast I called out to my Internet connection and asked if it wanted anything, but got no answer. I knocked on the computer, and when there was no reply again, I looked inside to find it had already packed it’s bags and shoved off early, leaving a note stuck to my Network Settings that simply read “No broadband connection can be found”. Good. Great. See you later then? Oh no, I won’t, because it seems you’ve not yet arrived at the new address either, leaving me cut off from the digital world for an undetermined amount of time!

I took my THREEHUNDREDANDSIXTEEFIVE T-shirt challenge photo of the day like normal, wondered when exactly I’d be able to do anything with it, and began the arduous task of moving my meagre possessions (and hauling my wife’s endless belongings) into the new abode, occasionally prodding the telephone for signs of life.
The T-shirt I’d pulled on was a dark last-minute donation from my friend Sarah who’d found it abandoned by her sister in their old house, so it seemed appropriate to wear it for my own day of home moving. On the subject of moving, this tee was a promotional garment for movement-based video game Child Of Eden and its design appears to be of several marine creatures swirling through a pattern of neon lights. Effortlessly. Without carrying wardrobes.

Seeing as none of you can actually read this, I may as well stop rambling on. As soon as the Internet connection decides to make an appearance, I’ll get this post out to you. Until then, well... just nothing.